It's been a while since I had a blog/online journal.  I remember the days of livejournal and how cathartic that was.  How enjoyable.  The introspection was good, I think. 

And now I stand upon a great divide:  Do I go this way or do I go that way?  I'm not sure; I wish someone else could make a foolproof decision for me.  But only I can decide which way to go is the right way.  I am so tired of being in this limbo. 

But I see nothing to gain from making a decision right now.  I will be on vacation in a week, spending almost a month away.  A chance to clear my mind, to dream again, to not feel encumbered or pressured.  This previous schoolyear has been especially trying; my intention is to indulge in my vacation--have a lot of fun, relax.  The time away will tell me what I need to know.  I know I shall return with an answer about my marriage, but I also hope to have answers for other things as well.

Toward this end, I think I will use this website for my thoughts while on vacation.

Wow, I have had so many people pop out of the woodwork!  I am glad to hear from you, and I make this post in an attempt to hear more from you good people.

I'm reminded of "It's a Small World."  How true.

Where are you on your journey?  Where have you gone?  What have you found?  Please share any words or links that show where your thoughts and emotions have wandered--even if something proved to be a dead-end for you.

My email for private messages:  dreamerawakened1 at gmail dot com .  Ah, hubris.  :)

Wow, not posted in here in a long time.  But seeing as how there are some new readers:

Hello, (semi-fellow) atheists!  I'm not truly an atheist, as I do believe in God--but God is not some deity to me.  God is me, you, my dog, the grass, the air, love, peace, hate, everything.  I usually don't wanna get into all that, and since most people don't regard God as such--I just tend to say I'm an atheist.  But the truth is, I fit into no-man's land.

I could "defend" myself here, but I truly have nothing to defend.  Did I come with less-than-stellar reasons?  Sure.  But I was not the first--nope, I followed the path.  I stayed because I enjoyed the people there, and I found many to be knowledgeable.  I wasn't looking for targets or any such--and I certain wasn't some sleeper cell, but I did get a really big laugh out of that.  I never requested to be banned; not sure where that came from. 

So, just thought I would say hello since you're looking.  And this wasn't a secret.  I had it as a link in my signature for a long time.

Also:  The only post where I was anything less than honest or myself was the one about ghosts, but that was because a member told me their idea which sounded fun at the time.  Turned out not to be.  Oh, well.  But everything else?  The truth.  I've embraced the necessity to be honest, and I wasn't feeding "personal" stories to gain trust or whatever.  I was just being honest.  Probably too honest.  But that is me now, who I have chosen to be.  So I am messy and dramatic and sometimes annoying.  I am honest, and I don't care for posturing.  So I just wanted to let whoever reads this know:  I never lied.