Monday, June 6, 2011

On the matter of Ruthless Truth

There are some things that I would like to elaborate on.  I've had a lot of contact from people about my last post on Ruthless Truth.  Their responses have run the gambit from contempt to agreement.  There've been a lot of questions.  First, let me be clear:  I am not enlightened--I don't for a second believe that I am.  I am on their list because they believe knowing an insight makes you enlightened.  The knowing is not the important part.  They're lost in their fixation, cannot even see how it consumes their thoughts.  It is a very nice insight.  But there are more powerful insights, there is more to explore.

The idea of no self can be downright damaging.  Some may be fine with damaging others for some unattainable goal of world enlightenment, but their view on humanity is rather skewed.  It is not a dangerous insight.  But when the idea is clung to, it can become dangerous.  RT may wish to deny it, but just look at how many people have left (they consider anyone who leaves to be abandoning humanity--rather than embracing humanity), the "endarkenment" so many have described, destructive and dangerous behaviors, the loss of motivation, etc. 

This single insight does not untangle the webs of human suffering.  It is not liberation; it is not utter freedom.  You are not handing people some prize long sought-after.  You are not enlightening them.  You are passing a flashlight over the webs, perhaps.  But without further searching and finding and then everything that comes after that (accepting?), the insight will sink a person into despair.  The illusion of self is still right there.  You know it's not real, but how easy to buy into everything again!  A person is still trapped--they just know it now.

I have connected no you to lack of separation--you and I being the same, since the beginning.  I'm still not sure on this, not positive.  I try to pinpoint where I end and you begin, and I cannot.  I feel the connection, I sense it.  We are expressions of the same thing.

Something that someone early on said to me that struck me was: 
Now you know what you are not; what are you?

It confused the hell out of me and as my ego was still running rampant when I was asked, I responded as any intellectual would:  I scoffed at it and ignored it.  I didn't understand, so I shoved it aside.  It was obviously so wrong.  What a question!  Pfft.

But it wouldn't leave me alone.  It crept into my thoughts, and I'd find myself puzzling over it.  And the same egoic reasoning which squelched discovery and deemed the inquiry an unworthy endeavor--that same ego rose up again and demanded the question be puzzled out.  In some capacity, I had long been trying to make sense of it--before the question had ever been asked of me.

I know there is no separation.  This was the first clue to the path I journeyed down.  That I still continue exploring.

I think I have the first inkling of what I am-and I am somewhat shamed in that I was derisive of people who had already pointed me in that direction.  I am an expression of the Divine.  Manifestation of awareness.  One teacher I spoke with told me, "You became the World to enter Experience so you could meet yourself."

I'm not clear on any of this.  Wading through the bullshit to get to the substance.  Ruthless Truth sought to be the ending of a path people had long been on.  But I had never been on any such path at all, had indeed no knowledge or really interest in any of this stuff.  Yet RT started my journey.  All things begin somewhere.  I am just saddened so many think it is the end, or that it is so powerful.  It is not.  It is just an insight, amid a plethora of much deeper and much more beneficial insights.

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2 comments:

Hicquodiam said...

There are people who want this insight, who are fine with it, who need nothing more in terms of liberation.

I mean what else can you possibly want? It's true, it's a lot better than not seeing it, and most importantly, it's good enough. This alone is really good enough to help people, to free them from being trapped in destructive thoughts.

If this isn't "enlightenment," does it matter? It's an amazingly powerful psychological medicine, and everyone deserves the opportunity to see it.

Yeah, there's bullshit left over, yeah, I'm working on my own post-liberation autolysis, but it seems almost recreational at this point. Placing that above helping others is selfish, anyway you look at it.

This no-you thing is good enough, Dreamer, good enough to really help our species.

Dreamer said...

Standing alone, it is dangerous. Fixating upon it just will leave you disillusioned and deluded.

I cannot for a second in good faith claim that this insight has prevented me from being trapped in destructive thought. I was so trapped in thought loops, I burned myself as an escape from my destructive thoughts. Guess what? Burning stopped them for a time, too. Just as this realization can stop them for a time. I cannot in good conscience advocate either method. Burning is immediately destructive; this insight is not so readily apparent in its destructive manner.

I knew there would be calls of "selfish" and "abandoning my species." What utter diatribe!

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